Coming at ya live at the close to what was a weekend full of studying, studying, sleep and studying. Ah, the life of a college student. While I didn't resort to packets of Ramen noodles and netflix to drown my sorrows in, I did give myself some time to #reflect on what was a year of building some awesome friendships. Then I realized how influential happy friendships and relationships can be to our health and wellbeing, and new I had to share my thoughts with you guys so YOU can get the most happiness out of your relationships.
We all know we shouldn't hang around negative people. I mean, why would you want someone's negative energies all over you? Same.
But more than that, hanging around with negative people can be detrimental to our health. We all have had relationships with people who put us down rather than lift us up, who make us feel unworthy, or people who we don't feel like we're growing with alongside the relationship. In turn, that takes a toll on our emotional wellbeing! Not good. We don't need people putting us down and making us any less happy than we deserve to be.
This came into my mind the other day, and I got to thinking about the people I surround myself with on a daily basis. Some by choice, my friends, and others not by choice, teachers/strangers/etc. I was thinking about how lucky I am to have the people that I choose to surround myself with. They're pretty awesome people. I'm talking about my immediate friends who I see on a daily basis, but also my family back home, my friends back home, the awesome health/wellness community here & on Instagram & the gals I've met through that. The world may be full of some really not so awesome humans, but it's full of some pretty awesome ones too.
So I wanna know, do you consciously choose positive, happy, inspiring people to hang out with on a daily basis? Or are you feeling stuck being with people just because you have hung out with them for years now and it just seems, well, like you have to keep the friendship going at this point? Or people who you used to really like when you were doing A, but once you started doing B, you changed (for the better!) didn't really have much in common with them anymore? Or are you surrounded by negative people in unavoidable circumstances, who, no matter what, you just can't get away from?
No doubt, we're always going to be surrounded by some folk we don't love at some point. For me, I've never really encountered many people I couldn't stand to be around. It was more so that some people just didn't get me, I didn't share any interests with them, or they were overall just negative and sucked the good energy out of me. How did I notice this? I kind of retreat, shy away from people I don't really jive with. I become quiet in conversation, and don't really find the energy to engage with It's sub conscious, but maybe its just my way of saving energy for people who understand me! I feel like I sound like a terribly unfriendly human, but I really do care about those people who I know are in the friendship for the long haul.
Do you have any friendships that you feel just aren't working lately, for whatever reason, and you just don't seem to connect with someone you used to? I think it's important to realize that this is completely OK, and we've all been there. Why?
Because people change. They change, you change, circumstances change. You used to jive, but now you don't. You've just started on different paths, finding joy in new ways, and now it almost feels forced to keep that relationship going. It's as simple as that and there isn't much to expand upon. It is so natural. If you think it's worth attempting to rekindle, go for it! If not, just walk away! You have a tribe that you totally love anyway.
Instead of dwelling on those who we don't find complete joy hanging out with, lets focus on those who we LOVE being with all the time, and how to find those people.
Someone that comes to mind for me when I think of a friend that always makes me smile and understands where I am in my life, is my friend Nicole. We met last year at university and I only really knew her for a semester, but it seems like I've known her for much longer! We don't see each other much because we go to different schools now, but last time I saw her I was reminded of why were friends, and why I creepily Facebook messaged her asking to be friends. She is so positive, caring and calm. She genuinely wants the best for me, and other she cares about. That's so hard to find these days in friendships, and I'm so lucky I found that in Nicole! That day we met up this summer as I was having some anxiety about going back to school, she said to me, "Amylou, this is going to be our year, this is going to be your year". Finding someone like that, a friend who is rooting for you and wanting you to be happy genuinely, is so hard to come by these days. It's so authentic and that's why I am so thankful for our friendship, to this day! I left that day in tears a bit because of how overwhelmed I felt just knowing I had her on my side as a true friend. Sometimes it isn't the lifelong friends that bring you the most joy, but the ones you instantly connect with and suddenly a 6 month friendship feels like years!
Anyway, that was just an example of how surrounding yourself with positive, loving and caring people can really affect your wellbeing. I love being with people who support my "weird" lifestyle, who laughs with me (and at me!), and who root for me. Those are the people I get excited to hang out with, the ones who bring joy and just make ya happy and excited!
If you find someone in your life who isn't bringing you joy, but maybe draining you of your energy, you may not be aligned right with them. They may not be meant to be in your life, and you may not be meant to be in theirs. Just accept that and know there are other people out there itching to be in your tribe, who you'll meet and feel like you've known them forever.
Friendship and relationships are a key component of a healthy lifestyle -- it's not just about healthy food. You need to surround yourself with energetic, positive people who make you feel the most authentic version of yourself possible. Let go of the toxic people. If there's someone you think would fit right in with your gang and someone you think you'd connect with, but don't totally know, reach out to them! That's what I did with Nicole! And I've had people reach out to me lately to grab coffee and honestly, it's the best feeling ever. Never once did I think they were weird for doing that. I was 100% genuinely flattered and honestly excited to connect with some new people. So don't feel afraid and send a text or FB message or Instagram message to someone who you think you would totally vibe with, in real life or on social media, and make it happen! Totally worth it.
Off to finish some revising before the week of hell begins. Then, WINTER BREAK. I couldn't be more excited for a change of scene, pace, and all the Holiday festivities.